Valentine Unsaid.
My Father was born on Valentines day in 1929. But, as far as I can remember, no one ever made a big deal about it. Just another day.
He never once told me he loved me. It wasn't expected either.
My Mother was very generous with her affection. She told me she loved me often. But not my Father.
He is dead.
He died when he went into his burning trailer to retrieve belongings and never came out. It's a sad story really. He made a stupid mistake. But who am I to judge.
He was burnt to a crisp I hear. It was a closed casket. He, with my Mother along side him, are buried in a cemetery on the outskirts of Quakertown, PA.
We had a great party for my Mother after her funeral. A truly Irish wake. Her wishes were we only laugh after she died. No party for my Father.
While my Father was alive he was not a very generous man as far as I know. A war hero yes, but not generous. Not with his money, or his feelings or kind words. Unless it was with his cherished dog.
After his death, however, probably much to his chagrin, he was generous. Who knew he was such a good stock picker. My Brother Sandy found my Father's portfolio by sheer coincidence in the spare tire wheel well of my Father's car. The rear of the car was parked a few feet from the burning trailer.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
I bought myself a watch for Christmas. What I really wanted to do was buy a new battery for my old watch. But the cost of a new battery was $6.41 and the cost of a new BETTER watch was only a few pennies more at $8.88. AND much bigger, I mean a lot bigger. two inches! Big. Fancy! Merry Christmas to me!
I needed a watch. I grew tired of asking people what time it was. I only wear it when I work balloon gigs and when I go to meeting. My new watch really fits my persona better than the old watch which was stainless steel and so GQ. Not the new one - BIG numbers so I can from 18 inches away!
I usually arrive early to meeting. As I sit, my BIG watch shows 9:46AM...I'll sit in my spot and chant quietly. I'm usually the first Friend sitting. I then take in who arrives before 10AM. Yesterday there were 4 people who arrived before 10. A good many walked in right at 10am, for a total of 11 that were "on time".
7 Friends arrived after 10:30AM too. I counted 34 people at rise of meeting. Do the math.
A year ago I would have steamed for the entire hour over these lateness numbers. But not yesterday. Since my decision to expect very little from CFM, I don't stress over lateness or mindless behavior.
BTW: Most the time, the majority of Friends sit after10AM.
So, go ahead Friends, arrive late. Really late Friends. Stomp your feet coming to your seat. Jingle those keys. Dig through that bag. Gurgle that water. Get settled late. Keep your cell phone on vibrate or beep away my Friends. It doesn't matter to me any more.
More to come...
I needed a watch. I grew tired of asking people what time it was. I only wear it when I work balloon gigs and when I go to meeting. My new watch really fits my persona better than the old watch which was stainless steel and so GQ. Not the new one - BIG numbers so I can from 18 inches away!
I usually arrive early to meeting. As I sit, my BIG watch shows 9:46AM...I'll sit in my spot and chant quietly. I'm usually the first Friend sitting. I then take in who arrives before 10AM. Yesterday there were 4 people who arrived before 10. A good many walked in right at 10am, for a total of 11 that were "on time".
7 Friends arrived after 10:30AM too. I counted 34 people at rise of meeting. Do the math.
A year ago I would have steamed for the entire hour over these lateness numbers. But not yesterday. Since my decision to expect very little from CFM, I don't stress over lateness or mindless behavior.
BTW: Most the time, the majority of Friends sit after10AM.
So, go ahead Friends, arrive late. Really late Friends. Stomp your feet coming to your seat. Jingle those keys. Dig through that bag. Gurgle that water. Get settled late. Keep your cell phone on vibrate or beep away my Friends. It doesn't matter to me any more.
More to come...
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Au contraire mon fraire!
Now I've the time to write. And there's something that happened at meeting today I wanted to share.
The Christian bucket "Kingdom of God" was swung around the pyramid today in vocal ministry and the J word was used too. I really didn't hear anything else because my brain was frozen on the words Kingdom of God. Funny coincidence; I just finished watching the movie of almost the same title just a few days ago.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Heaven_%28film%29) Great cinematography and set design representing authoritarian secularism with eloquent passion on film. The worst features of religions...fields of blood.
Getting back...what my brain heard first was the "eye of the needle" passage, (Matthew 19:24) the old bible theocratic saw paraphrased; those who are saved are inside the kingdom and those outside will be destroyed.
The zealous point of this share, I think, is all forms of Christianity will cohere nicely together within the walls of the kingdom. Inside we are all brothers and sisters reciting the Our Father together in harmony. Kumbaya. But what about me and Jeff and Martin, the Jews among us?
All this talk about the Kingdom brought back old programming - those who don't believe are second class citizens. Burn!
Au contraire mon fraire! The new pope - Pope Francis to the soul rescue. Open those gates Huffington Post!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/pope-francis-good-atheists_n_3320757.html
"The Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart: do good and do not do evil. All of us. ‘But, Father, this is not Catholic! He cannot do good.’ Yes, he can... "The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!"...We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.”
Pope Francis
The Christian bucket "Kingdom of God" was swung around the pyramid today in vocal ministry and the J word was used too. I really didn't hear anything else because my brain was frozen on the words Kingdom of God. Funny coincidence; I just finished watching the movie of almost the same title just a few days ago.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Heaven_%28film%29) Great cinematography and set design representing authoritarian secularism with eloquent passion on film. The worst features of religions...fields of blood.
Getting back...what my brain heard first was the "eye of the needle" passage, (Matthew 19:24) the old bible theocratic saw paraphrased; those who are saved are inside the kingdom and those outside will be destroyed.
The zealous point of this share, I think, is all forms of Christianity will cohere nicely together within the walls of the kingdom. Inside we are all brothers and sisters reciting the Our Father together in harmony. Kumbaya. But what about me and Jeff and Martin, the Jews among us?
All this talk about the Kingdom brought back old programming - those who don't believe are second class citizens. Burn!
Au contraire mon fraire! The new pope - Pope Francis to the soul rescue. Open those gates Huffington Post!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/pope-francis-good-atheists_n_3320757.html
"The Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart: do good and do not do evil. All of us. ‘But, Father, this is not Catholic! He cannot do good.’ Yes, he can... "The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!"...We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.”
Pope Francis
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
"You cannot petition the Lord with prayer"
I lost my wallet the other day. If I wasn't in a hurry, it wouldn't have mattered as much. Because I usually find it. It just takes time, patience and looking under things. Usually, when I take it out of my pocket I slip it in the kitchen drawer where I keep the water bill and loose change, so I always know where it is. But when don't do that, and lose it, and I can't find it quickly I automatically start petitioning the Lord with Prayer.
I started to bargain with God this time. But this time it was very different. Having thoughts of what I'd have to do to protect myself from the Sunami of identity theft or the feelings of drowning from my own imagined fear wasn't new. This time I started to go into a deep panic, which was new. But I had another problem...You see, I have doubts that there is a God. I doubt that an all powerful being with a beard will magically help me in times of need and trouble. Like when I lose my wallet. So I was in a panic and a real pickle.
(To be continued)
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
Jim Morrison
I started to bargain with God this time. But this time it was very different. Having thoughts of what I'd have to do to protect myself from the Sunami of identity theft or the feelings of drowning from my own imagined fear wasn't new. This time I started to go into a deep panic, which was new. But I had another problem...You see, I have doubts that there is a God. I doubt that an all powerful being with a beard will magically help me in times of need and trouble. Like when I lose my wallet. So I was in a panic and a real pickle.
(To be continued)
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
Jim Morrison
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Dung Beetle and TEN InTENtions For 20TEN
Many images roll through my head while I sit in meeting. One of them today was that of a dung beetle rolling his dinner along the road. I experienced one when I was living in Africa. The ball of dung it was rolling was at least 5 inches in diameter, much bigger than it was. It would almost climb up on top of the it and push the dung ball with its front legs then scurrying along to catch it to push it again. Meandering down the path, so it seems, following the path of least resistance. It was very focused. Listening to his/her programmed directive.
But most of the time today I was having an inner conversation about intentions. And how intentions relate to responsibility. I've started a list of the top ten intentions for 2010 for myself. It is to engage with as many new attenders for 3 minutes each Sunday.
But most of the time today I was having an inner conversation about intentions. And how intentions relate to responsibility. I've started a list of the top ten intentions for 2010 for myself. It is to engage with as many new attenders for 3 minutes each Sunday.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Idiots Guide To Quakerism
While grazing the bookshelves, the Idiot Guide books on the shelves jumped out at me. They all have a bold spine that is black and yellow.
The word idiot creeps me out though. Not as much as it use to, But come on, the definition of an idiot...Psychology: a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old...I got it...easy to understand etc...
Anyway, I was in the religion section and there were IG titles for everything, but Catholicism was the only one I noticed that had 3 idiot guide books. One was The Idiots Guide to Catechism. That word sends shivers up my fleshy spine.
I knew the answer but I thought I'd look anyway, no Idiots Guide to Quakerism.
But What would be in an Idiot's Guide To Quakerism?
The word idiot creeps me out though. Not as much as it use to, But come on, the definition of an idiot...Psychology: a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old...I got it...easy to understand etc...
Anyway, I was in the religion section and there were IG titles for everything, but Catholicism was the only one I noticed that had 3 idiot guide books. One was The Idiots Guide to Catechism. That word sends shivers up my fleshy spine.
I knew the answer but I thought I'd look anyway, no Idiots Guide to Quakerism.
But What would be in an Idiot's Guide To Quakerism?
Friday, October 23, 2009
Situational Awareness Lost And Found
Last night, in MN, airplane pilots were so distracted, say the news reports, they missed their landing by 150 miles. The pilot of the airplane said that they were in a heated discussion and "lost situational Awareness." A new name for being distracted. Some say they were asleep b/c of pilot fatigue. I marvel at the fact that pilot's have a name for being asleep or distracted.
If you're not new to CFM or even meditation, you may have honed in on the relevance of this story.
This past week it was a verbal ministry free meeting. I've noticed that I go even deeper in my meditation during this kind of meeting. It keeps me closer to the top of the meditation cycle I guess. I want to say more awake, but that's not it. I had a very peaceful, awake, very visual meditation. I did not fall asleep. BTW, I've never fallen asleep in meeting. At least not yet. This meeting was restful, healing. See the white bread post.
What do I need to do to help create a centered or gathered meeting like this one?
Leave my below the line emotional baggage outside. Like anger, hate, etc...I know that affects a space.
Be there early. Settling down goes faster when I don't have to wait till the adreneline rush subsides from being late.
Blood sugar. Yes, sometimes it is an issue for me. I may need to eat something to get me through the hour, something small. Water helps too.
Breathing. Be aware of my breathe. Especially when I get started. Then my breathing slows down tremendously. This is how I know that I'm relaxed.
And relax. I need a chair with arms. Sit back with my back firmly against the chair.
Eyes open or closed? I start with closed. Then I open them periodically. I'm guessing it is a grounding mechanism, helps me to keep a hold of my situational awareness. I like that word pair!
TM or not to TM. I usually start off with my TM practice. and then let it go once I'm in the meditative state. This takes about 10-15 minutes. Usually the cue is when the children leave the meeting. This is a good grounding for me. All the while I'm awake, very aware of surroundings. I hear everything. in fact, my senses seem heightened.
Here I get cinema-graphic...The waiting in the light, it is very Speilbergian for me. I guess it is b/c I'm visually oriented. I consider myself a "visual haptic". Things are so clear in my mind, I feel I could touch them. Other senses are heightened as well.
Using the White bread experience as an example; I could feel the heat from the sunlight on my face that was streaming through the white bread when I was a 7 year old child. I felt the feelings of joy as well. Very strong feelings too. I was transported back in time. But all the while I was a 100% present in the room, aware of everything.
Very healing. Very connecting. Very safe. But no leadings. No concerns have developed. I'll go with a massaging of self worth, being loved, being accepted, being a part of the group, community of believers like me, or somewhat like me. Probably is what I need right now.
Coming out of the meditation is abrupt for me in meetings like this. I've gone deep. I need time to climb back up. It takes at least 2-5 minutes.
Afterwards, I feel refreshed, alive. More awake. But I never lost consciousness or awareness. It was a stress free awareness in fact.
If you're not new to CFM or even meditation, you may have honed in on the relevance of this story.
This past week it was a verbal ministry free meeting. I've noticed that I go even deeper in my meditation during this kind of meeting. It keeps me closer to the top of the meditation cycle I guess. I want to say more awake, but that's not it. I had a very peaceful, awake, very visual meditation. I did not fall asleep. BTW, I've never fallen asleep in meeting. At least not yet. This meeting was restful, healing. See the white bread post.
What do I need to do to help create a centered or gathered meeting like this one?
Leave my below the line emotional baggage outside. Like anger, hate, etc...I know that affects a space.
Be there early. Settling down goes faster when I don't have to wait till the adreneline rush subsides from being late.
Blood sugar. Yes, sometimes it is an issue for me. I may need to eat something to get me through the hour, something small. Water helps too.
Breathing. Be aware of my breathe. Especially when I get started. Then my breathing slows down tremendously. This is how I know that I'm relaxed.
And relax. I need a chair with arms. Sit back with my back firmly against the chair.
Eyes open or closed? I start with closed. Then I open them periodically. I'm guessing it is a grounding mechanism, helps me to keep a hold of my situational awareness. I like that word pair!
TM or not to TM. I usually start off with my TM practice. and then let it go once I'm in the meditative state. This takes about 10-15 minutes. Usually the cue is when the children leave the meeting. This is a good grounding for me. All the while I'm awake, very aware of surroundings. I hear everything. in fact, my senses seem heightened.
Here I get cinema-graphic...The waiting in the light, it is very Speilbergian for me. I guess it is b/c I'm visually oriented. I consider myself a "visual haptic". Things are so clear in my mind, I feel I could touch them. Other senses are heightened as well.
Using the White bread experience as an example; I could feel the heat from the sunlight on my face that was streaming through the white bread when I was a 7 year old child. I felt the feelings of joy as well. Very strong feelings too. I was transported back in time. But all the while I was a 100% present in the room, aware of everything.
Very healing. Very connecting. Very safe. But no leadings. No concerns have developed. I'll go with a massaging of self worth, being loved, being accepted, being a part of the group, community of believers like me, or somewhat like me. Probably is what I need right now.
Coming out of the meditation is abrupt for me in meetings like this. I've gone deep. I need time to climb back up. It takes at least 2-5 minutes.
Afterwards, I feel refreshed, alive. More awake. But I never lost consciousness or awareness. It was a stress free awareness in fact.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
30 days Has Gone By Already?
Geesh. Quickly too. Summer is over. I didn't realize it till this morning when I had to get up for more covers and the thermostat read 58 degrees. Enlivening. But still cold. I've not had to put on the heat or air until today.
The grass is looking fantastic, I'm sure you're wondering. Caught the growing season just right. Along with some reading on how to grow grass, instead of winging it. Using moss (from Canada) instead of hay is the secret. And good grass seed. Watering helps. BUT very expensive I've learned. A small bit of Canadian soil in my front yard, can I succeed from the union? The County? No more taxes? Am I a free nation?
I've been busy with starting a small business. Balloon Twisting. Sculpture with latex. It has been fun but hard work. 90% of my time is spent marketing. No news there. I have great fun making the balloon shapes for the kids. And D...is really into it too. In fact he has a different take on making balloons. I do believe he is more visually oriented than I am.
I've done a bunch of children's parties, festivals, and also doing charity work too.
I've missed a bunch of First Days however. And going to meeting does make a difference for me.
The grass is looking fantastic, I'm sure you're wondering. Caught the growing season just right. Along with some reading on how to grow grass, instead of winging it. Using moss (from Canada) instead of hay is the secret. And good grass seed. Watering helps. BUT very expensive I've learned. A small bit of Canadian soil in my front yard, can I succeed from the union? The County? No more taxes? Am I a free nation?
I've been busy with starting a small business. Balloon Twisting. Sculpture with latex. It has been fun but hard work. 90% of my time is spent marketing. No news there. I have great fun making the balloon shapes for the kids. And D...is really into it too. In fact he has a different take on making balloons. I do believe he is more visually oriented than I am.
I've done a bunch of children's parties, festivals, and also doing charity work too.
I've missed a bunch of First Days however. And going to meeting does make a difference for me.
White Bread Face
Remember Wonder Bread? Yeah, you've probably heard stories about it...go with me on this one...
And remember how we'd pull away the bread with our little fingers to make holes for eyes and mouth?
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/05/12/bestproducts/image/bread.jpg
And then we'd hold our bread face up to the light and marvel at the brilliance of our handiwork. And then roll it up hard and tight into a ball and pop it into our mouths and wash it down with a big gulp of milk?
Oh how the world looked for a child through the eyes of a white bread face.
At meeting the other day, I saw it differently. The bread was held up to the light, like I did as a child but this time it was the tiny holes around the 3 holes I made that were streaming light. The light exaggerated the texture of white bread. The soft, tiny and delicate perforations, that covered the perfect snow white surface, front and back. the light softly meandered through at different angles, rarely did the light go straight through. I marveled at the translucent quality of light as well as the diffused light surrounding the 3 big holes.
And remember how we'd pull away the bread with our little fingers to make holes for eyes and mouth?
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/05/12/bestproducts/image/bread.jpg
And then we'd hold our bread face up to the light and marvel at the brilliance of our handiwork. And then roll it up hard and tight into a ball and pop it into our mouths and wash it down with a big gulp of milk?
Oh how the world looked for a child through the eyes of a white bread face.
At meeting the other day, I saw it differently. The bread was held up to the light, like I did as a child but this time it was the tiny holes around the 3 holes I made that were streaming light. The light exaggerated the texture of white bread. The soft, tiny and delicate perforations, that covered the perfect snow white surface, front and back. the light softly meandered through at different angles, rarely did the light go straight through. I marveled at the translucent quality of light as well as the diffused light surrounding the 3 big holes.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Fifteen Shadow Puppets
http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/galleries/people/hands_shadow_puppetry.php
I've been concentrating on making money of late, and not writing. Marketing is taking up most of my time. I missed the last two first days b/c I worked a festival and show. And on Saturday, I'm working a large playgroup of 230 families. Ought to be interesting.
My balloon twisting skills are improving by leaps and bounds. When I was tested for a job a while back, as part of the recruiting process...I remember the psychologist calling me a "conceptual leaper"...I like the sound of that too...and it is interesting for me to reflect on how I teach myself a certain new skill...the process is usually a battle most of the time...I beat myself up for not getting it the first time...I work through it, review, try, reflect, and usually the third time I get it and it sticks.
Today, a woman I know asked me to make a bouquet of flower balloons for her sister's birthday. (for money) And she was amazed at my twisting talent. Making flowers have become second nature for me...after making over 200 of them by now...I'm making them in interesting ways...my search for the new...once I've learned a basic skill, stretching in all directions doesn't hurt my brain. I really like finding variation on a theme really. That woman thought I was genius. Spatial relationships do come easy for me. She wanted to try making a flower and she struggled. Her struggle made my skill seem even more awesome to her.
I performed at Mr. Food - No Fuss Meals on Tuesday night too. Chip Wilson is awesome, what a great concept. We have the same target market. I hope to do more with him in the future. He gave me the lead for the playgroup.
I've been concentrating on making money of late, and not writing. Marketing is taking up most of my time. I missed the last two first days b/c I worked a festival and show. And on Saturday, I'm working a large playgroup of 230 families. Ought to be interesting.
My balloon twisting skills are improving by leaps and bounds. When I was tested for a job a while back, as part of the recruiting process...I remember the psychologist calling me a "conceptual leaper"...I like the sound of that too...and it is interesting for me to reflect on how I teach myself a certain new skill...the process is usually a battle most of the time...I beat myself up for not getting it the first time...I work through it, review, try, reflect, and usually the third time I get it and it sticks.
Today, a woman I know asked me to make a bouquet of flower balloons for her sister's birthday. (for money) And she was amazed at my twisting talent. Making flowers have become second nature for me...after making over 200 of them by now...I'm making them in interesting ways...my search for the new...once I've learned a basic skill, stretching in all directions doesn't hurt my brain. I really like finding variation on a theme really. That woman thought I was genius. Spatial relationships do come easy for me. She wanted to try making a flower and she struggled. Her struggle made my skill seem even more awesome to her.
I performed at Mr. Food - No Fuss Meals on Tuesday night too. Chip Wilson is awesome, what a great concept. We have the same target market. I hope to do more with him in the future. He gave me the lead for the playgroup.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Fail More (Often)
I’ve been laid-off now for about 10 months from a well-known project management firm. Luckily for me my basic needs are not in jeopardy. I have a new house with hefty savings, I’m learning to eat low on the food chain, I have a dog that listens with her heart but despite her sincerity and pedigree she couldn't shoulder the financial burden after the savings run out-—and I wouldn't let her either...dry humor.
I took the summer off to be with my son on a regular basis, enrolled in a few insurance programs at the community college, and I do some career counseling…help someone with an occasional resume, as well as some painting, and now I’m exploring something that is fun to do and makes people crazy happy, especially children…balloon twisting…
Through all this I’m compelled to simplify everything, and now I'm letting go of luxuries like my fitness club membership, eating out at restaurants, leaving the lights on, taking long showers....now I’ve made a sport out of buying less. Oh I am looking for work, but nobody is hiring recruiters right now. The unexpected bump in this journey is how I slowly began to let go of my self worth. I saw my skill sets as useless, my strengths as impediments, my passions as frivolous, and a huge divide grew between my old work life, and my new ventures. It may not be manly to say but I fight daily with a swelling collection of negative beliefs.
I’ve told many a client, who is looking at a career change…it is inevitable when a person is committed to self-reinvention, that negative self talk will rise up and attach to every great idea, plan or action simply because it's new and different, and presents a big shift for the ego.I make a terrible client…but in my case, I’m gradually beginning to see that my everyday mindtalk is an opportunity for me to own my new experiences, passions and new found skills as every bit as important as the work I’d been formerly paid for as a recruiter. My daily learning: to appreciate the practical and spiritual value of everything I do moving forward.
I need to remember my favorite Japanese manager’s mantra, “you need to fail more.” And do what I love. Do what is of value. I need to put the cart before the horse and make some mistakes. My work life will not look the same, but then again, I don’t want it to.
I took the summer off to be with my son on a regular basis, enrolled in a few insurance programs at the community college, and I do some career counseling…help someone with an occasional resume, as well as some painting, and now I’m exploring something that is fun to do and makes people crazy happy, especially children…balloon twisting…
Through all this I’m compelled to simplify everything, and now I'm letting go of luxuries like my fitness club membership, eating out at restaurants, leaving the lights on, taking long showers....now I’ve made a sport out of buying less. Oh I am looking for work, but nobody is hiring recruiters right now. The unexpected bump in this journey is how I slowly began to let go of my self worth. I saw my skill sets as useless, my strengths as impediments, my passions as frivolous, and a huge divide grew between my old work life, and my new ventures. It may not be manly to say but I fight daily with a swelling collection of negative beliefs.
I’ve told many a client, who is looking at a career change…it is inevitable when a person is committed to self-reinvention, that negative self talk will rise up and attach to every great idea, plan or action simply because it's new and different, and presents a big shift for the ego.I make a terrible client…but in my case, I’m gradually beginning to see that my everyday mindtalk is an opportunity for me to own my new experiences, passions and new found skills as every bit as important as the work I’d been formerly paid for as a recruiter. My daily learning: to appreciate the practical and spiritual value of everything I do moving forward.
I need to remember my favorite Japanese manager’s mantra, “you need to fail more.” And do what I love. Do what is of value. I need to put the cart before the horse and make some mistakes. My work life will not look the same, but then again, I don’t want it to.
Accept No Permanent Solution
I'm working on the grass in my front yard. Again. Present continuous tense. It used to be bright orange dirt a year ago. So it has gotten better, even green at times. The plot I'm working on is a 50x50 area and it's in the very front. the lower part of the front yard cannot be seen from the road, b/c it is at the bottom of the hill...And last spring this front plot was green perfection. A lush carpet of middle class splendor. All my work actualized. Neatly tonchered weekly with pride by me and not some service. Then the heat of summer arrived and I got busy doing something else. Call it life. I was worried about driving up the water bill. So, I didn't water it. I left it to deal with the heat on its own. It was drought resistant seed FGS! My neighbor, who also has a new house, put sod on his small front plot. He waters it daily, the sprinklers come on even when it is raining at 8am and 2pm. His grass is green, thick. And he has a water bill 5x's bigger most likely.
I dethatched, as Pepper watched the cars and the the squirrels go by...I spread new dirt and mossed the surface lightly and then seeded in the afternoon...waiting for the rain that is promised...it will grow I know...again...mostly it was fun to be outside today. Chickadees, rain storm looming...the rain...and then the wind...it took 4 hours to get it all done.
I dethatched, as Pepper watched the cars and the the squirrels go by...I spread new dirt and mossed the surface lightly and then seeded in the afternoon...waiting for the rain that is promised...it will grow I know...again...mostly it was fun to be outside today. Chickadees, rain storm looming...the rain...and then the wind...it took 4 hours to get it all done.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Happines IS Contagious!
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/magazine/13contagion-t.html?em
As you may or may not know I'm a career coach...and yesterday I met with a woman with whom I have been working on/off for 3 months...she has been unemployed and now underemployed for a year. what continues to enliven my spirit each time I meet with her is how she is approaching her challenge. She is contagious. She is still hopeful. She is happy...but not PollyAnna about it ..she knows her situation, is working on improving it...and she is working on her goals...but it is her enduring spirit that always pumps me up...then I read this very recent NYT article, see above link...which validated my thoughts...well worth reading even though it is 8 pages long. Here is an astonishing statement from the article...
"As Fowler pointed out, if you want to improve the world with your good behavior, math is on your side. For most of us, within three degrees we are connected to more than 1,000 people — all of whom we can theoretically help make healthier, fitter and happier just by our contagious example. “If someone tells you that you can influence 1,000 people,” Fowler said, “it changes your way of seeing the world.”
As you may or may not know I'm a career coach...and yesterday I met with a woman with whom I have been working on/off for 3 months...she has been unemployed and now underemployed for a year. what continues to enliven my spirit each time I meet with her is how she is approaching her challenge. She is contagious. She is still hopeful. She is happy...but not PollyAnna about it ..she knows her situation, is working on improving it...and she is working on her goals...but it is her enduring spirit that always pumps me up...then I read this very recent NYT article, see above link...which validated my thoughts...well worth reading even though it is 8 pages long. Here is an astonishing statement from the article...
"As Fowler pointed out, if you want to improve the world with your good behavior, math is on your side. For most of us, within three degrees we are connected to more than 1,000 people — all of whom we can theoretically help make healthier, fitter and happier just by our contagious example. “If someone tells you that you can influence 1,000 people,” Fowler said, “it changes your way of seeing the world.”
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Napoleon And Trout Fishing
I did my swimming at Marion Diehl Center today. VERY different from Foxcroft. The water was 88 degrees, passably clean...but an old and dinghy pool. Not sure if I'm going to continue. I may just start jogging, the weather is getting cooler for it.
While swimming I thought about the afterglow experiences I've had. Spaces that have left me with a lasting impression of unbounded sacredness.
http://www.rothkochapel.org/index.htm
Mission Statement
The Rothko Chapel is a scared space open to all, every day of the year, to provide a place of worship, meditation and prayer for people of all faiths; to provide a focal-point for people to gather and explore spiritual bonds common to all, to discuss human problems of world-wide interest, and to share a spiritual experience, each loyal to his belief, each respectful of the beliefs of others.
I experienced a spiritual afterglow when I visited the Rothko Chapel. The space washed over me the same way it did in meeting last week. And the same with these two experiences:
Trout fishing with my son in Cherokee County last summer.
Notre Dame Cathedral. Napolean Bonaparte was crowned here.
While swimming I thought about the afterglow experiences I've had. Spaces that have left me with a lasting impression of unbounded sacredness.
http://www.rothkochapel.org/index.htm
Mission Statement
The Rothko Chapel is a scared space open to all, every day of the year, to provide a place of worship, meditation and prayer for people of all faiths; to provide a focal-point for people to gather and explore spiritual bonds common to all, to discuss human problems of world-wide interest, and to share a spiritual experience, each loyal to his belief, each respectful of the beliefs of others.
I experienced a spiritual afterglow when I visited the Rothko Chapel. The space washed over me the same way it did in meeting last week. And the same with these two experiences:
Trout fishing with my son in Cherokee County last summer.
Notre Dame Cathedral. Napolean Bonaparte was crowned here.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Last Day Of Summer
I did swim my laps yesterday. Even with the distractions. But not today, the last day. D...was upset b/c we got there 45 minutes before it closed for the season. At first he said he was sad b/c we had gotten there too late, I had misread the schedule...but after wards he said he was sad because summer was over when the pool closed. He said he had a great summer. And he didn't want it to be over. I remember last year we drove by and climbed the hill over looking the pool to take a look at it. The trees around the pool had lost their leaves. The pool had long been covered. the parking lot empty. We weren't there long. I think I will do that again for him, in a few weeks. To say goodbye. Until next summer.
No Half -Shadows
I experienced an afterglow of meeting last week.
Very tangible. Y'all were like light golden on the roses in the garden
extremely palpable. How fine it is that the children
get to step into this afterglow like a warm spiritual bath.
Very tangible. Y'all were like light golden on the roses in the garden
extremely palpable. How fine it is that the children
get to step into this afterglow like a warm spiritual bath.
Balloon Swords and Human Bread
http://bangkokdaytours.com/QuirkyThailand/Human-Bread.html
One of my favorite stories about Pope John Paul II tells a truth about his humor filled groundedness. While celebrating Mass, one of the priests that was distributing communion with him dropped a host (symbolic of the body of Christ) onto the floor, and Pope John Paul saw that the Priest was visibly upset for doing so, and the Pope walked over to the priest and calmly told the priest that it was only bread, not to worry so much...John Paul probably said this with a smile in a Polish accent.
And on the same note, mostly for fun...the link above is for a baker/artist making bread that is shaped to REALLY look like human body parts...AND it is still edible bread...and so to with balloons...they are just balloons, not the objects they represent. I attached the William Penn story to them to illustrate our Quaker history. And balloon swords are easy for kids to make...good story here...one of the members making balloon shapes, turned the sword he made into a plowshare...Quakers and balloons in rightful action. You got to chuckle at that one. After wards, more for the reason not to create trash, I transformed the swords left behind and the other shapes into flowers and gave them away to the remaining women.
One of my favorite stories about Pope John Paul II tells a truth about his humor filled groundedness. While celebrating Mass, one of the priests that was distributing communion with him dropped a host (symbolic of the body of Christ) onto the floor, and Pope John Paul saw that the Priest was visibly upset for doing so, and the Pope walked over to the priest and calmly told the priest that it was only bread, not to worry so much...John Paul probably said this with a smile in a Polish accent.
And on the same note, mostly for fun...the link above is for a baker/artist making bread that is shaped to REALLY look like human body parts...AND it is still edible bread...and so to with balloons...they are just balloons, not the objects they represent. I attached the William Penn story to them to illustrate our Quaker history. And balloon swords are easy for kids to make...good story here...one of the members making balloon shapes, turned the sword he made into a plowshare...Quakers and balloons in rightful action. You got to chuckle at that one. After wards, more for the reason not to create trash, I transformed the swords left behind and the other shapes into flowers and gave them away to the remaining women.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Raised By Wolves
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_wolves_raise_babies
In a very recent response to what I'd written in my bio that was in the August newsletter, A very puzzled but curious CFM member asked,..."Were you really raised by wolves"...almost...My Mother had 9 children. My Mother and Father both worked, very busy bread winners. And so, my older siblings, much like wolves, older wolves who were not ready to mate were responsible for watching younger wolves, so my very competent sisters and brother watched my twin brother and I, as well as watching my younger brothers.
Again, almost alone in the pool today...one other swimmer...cold...but clear and clean and refreshing...I'm able to swim my 32 laps in 25 minutes now. I will swim 32 laps in 20 minutes tomorrow...4 days left to swim.
Will be twisting balloons for the kids at First Day school. A chance to practice my shape making...twisting is good!
In a very recent response to what I'd written in my bio that was in the August newsletter, A very puzzled but curious CFM member asked,..."Were you really raised by wolves"...almost...My Mother had 9 children. My Mother and Father both worked, very busy bread winners. And so, my older siblings, much like wolves, older wolves who were not ready to mate were responsible for watching younger wolves, so my very competent sisters and brother watched my twin brother and I, as well as watching my younger brothers.
Again, almost alone in the pool today...one other swimmer...cold...but clear and clean and refreshing...I'm able to swim my 32 laps in 25 minutes now. I will swim 32 laps in 20 minutes tomorrow...4 days left to swim.
Will be twisting balloons for the kids at First Day school. A chance to practice my shape making...twisting is good!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Solitary Swimming
“None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
The pool is only open from 4-8 on week days now. And it was chilly today, in the 60's...but the water was warmer. I was by myself in the pool again...pushed myself even harder today. I kiddingly told the life guards to tell D...I loved him very much...if I died while trying to swim faster. Dark joke. I'm not building more muscle but all my muscles are getting more defined, especially in my shoulders and legs. My breathing is much more coordinated with my strokes. I'm recovering much faster too. Overcast, no finches today. Do they migrate? D...is having a tough time at his new school, but he says he will weather the storm, his words. I'm betting all over Charlotte, students are adjusting to new teachers, students...the new process of middle school. I started twisting balloons last Thursday. Getting good at it, will bring some to meeting this week...see if the kids want to twist balloons. Working on another painting...this one will be a Halloween tribute of sorts. The theme of death or decomposition...seasonal changes still has it's head reared.
The pool is only open from 4-8 on week days now. And it was chilly today, in the 60's...but the water was warmer. I was by myself in the pool again...pushed myself even harder today. I kiddingly told the life guards to tell D...I loved him very much...if I died while trying to swim faster. Dark joke. I'm not building more muscle but all my muscles are getting more defined, especially in my shoulders and legs. My breathing is much more coordinated with my strokes. I'm recovering much faster too. Overcast, no finches today. Do they migrate? D...is having a tough time at his new school, but he says he will weather the storm, his words. I'm betting all over Charlotte, students are adjusting to new teachers, students...the new process of middle school. I started twisting balloons last Thursday. Getting good at it, will bring some to meeting this week...see if the kids want to twist balloons. Working on another painting...this one will be a Halloween tribute of sorts. The theme of death or decomposition...seasonal changes still has it's head reared.
Annuit Coeptis
"This is the source of our confidence, the knowledge that God calls on us
to shape an uncertain destiny." – President Barack Obama, Inaugural Address
http://www.greatseal.com/mottoes/coeptis.html
A personal story as it relates to yesterday's comment about where the beginning begins and where the end ends...When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, at the last minute I was asked to do the morning commencement on the first day of our training.
African students were there to help us practice our skills, and we followed a usual school day for them which included a morning commencement. What I did was completely unrehearsed. The group I was with, all brand new Peace Corps Recruits, drove up country (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sierra_Leone) soon right after a 12 hour plane ride, and we all got to bed around 2am...new country, new everything...I was really jet lagged, tired, discombobulated...nonetheless...I came up with something that would become part of my Peace Corps Legacy.
Imagine 75 Peace Corps Volunteers standing around me and in front of about 400 bright shining faces...the boys with white shirts and tan shorts, and the girls in blue dresses and white tops...all standing underneath a thatched roof while it was teeming down rain. It was the rainy season. Incidentally, their weather is the weather we get in the form of hurricanes.
I said good morning in English and they all said good morning back to me so thunderously, in English, but in a very flavorful accent I never heard before.
I began by telling them the story about the Little Engine That Could...you know the story...so I'll skip ahead...but one of the memorable parts of this story is when the Engine was climbing the hill...going up up up and up and struggling....and not making it...trying and trying again...I'll never forget how all 400 students were so physically and emotionally involved with the Engine. They all became the Engine. And so did I. Imagine...all 400 of the them chugging wildly, dramatically...following me. And I looked behind me and the Peace Corps Volunteers were chugging too!
We ALL motioned our arms...we were the Engine chugging up the hill. With strenuous dramatic effort, climbing...climbing....trying...groaning...leaning back as if climbing the hill...
Watching them all with my sleep deprived eyes was absolutely amazing, but as amazing as this was, this is NOT the most amazing part of the story...for me.
Two years later...I was very sad because I was in a taxi on my way to the Freetown airport, on my way back home, (actually I was headed to Europe)...anyway my 2 year tour of duty as a Peace Corps Volunteer had ended.
It was long a trip up country, about 8 hours, by taxi. Lot of stops on the way as well. I was stationed in Segbwema, which is almost as far East as one could go.
When we reached Njala, the town where we trained 2 years past, there were vendors along the road, along with people waiting for their rides, other taxis...it was very busy stop...but in the corner of my eye I saw a little boy moving his arms. Bent at the elbows. Going slow, then picking up speed as he moved his arms back and forth.
He was smiling at me and walking towards me as he moved his arms. The little boy was about 75 yards from me. At the time I thought it was odd what he was doing, but I did not make any connection. Before the boy reached the taxi the driver returned and we drove off. I watched as the boy continued moving his arms until the dust obscured him from my view.
Only when I was an hour away from Njala junction did I remember the morning commencement and the little Engine That Could.
to shape an uncertain destiny." – President Barack Obama, Inaugural Address
http://www.greatseal.com/mottoes/coeptis.html
A personal story as it relates to yesterday's comment about where the beginning begins and where the end ends...When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, at the last minute I was asked to do the morning commencement on the first day of our training.
African students were there to help us practice our skills, and we followed a usual school day for them which included a morning commencement. What I did was completely unrehearsed. The group I was with, all brand new Peace Corps Recruits, drove up country (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sierra_Leone) soon right after a 12 hour plane ride, and we all got to bed around 2am...new country, new everything...I was really jet lagged, tired, discombobulated...nonetheless...I came up with something that would become part of my Peace Corps Legacy.
Imagine 75 Peace Corps Volunteers standing around me and in front of about 400 bright shining faces...the boys with white shirts and tan shorts, and the girls in blue dresses and white tops...all standing underneath a thatched roof while it was teeming down rain. It was the rainy season. Incidentally, their weather is the weather we get in the form of hurricanes.
I said good morning in English and they all said good morning back to me so thunderously, in English, but in a very flavorful accent I never heard before.
I began by telling them the story about the Little Engine That Could...you know the story...so I'll skip ahead...but one of the memorable parts of this story is when the Engine was climbing the hill...going up up up and up and struggling....and not making it...trying and trying again...I'll never forget how all 400 students were so physically and emotionally involved with the Engine. They all became the Engine. And so did I. Imagine...all 400 of the them chugging wildly, dramatically...following me. And I looked behind me and the Peace Corps Volunteers were chugging too!
We ALL motioned our arms...we were the Engine chugging up the hill. With strenuous dramatic effort, climbing...climbing....trying...groaning...leaning back as if climbing the hill...
Watching them all with my sleep deprived eyes was absolutely amazing, but as amazing as this was, this is NOT the most amazing part of the story...for me.
Two years later...I was very sad because I was in a taxi on my way to the Freetown airport, on my way back home, (actually I was headed to Europe)...anyway my 2 year tour of duty as a Peace Corps Volunteer had ended.
It was long a trip up country, about 8 hours, by taxi. Lot of stops on the way as well. I was stationed in Segbwema, which is almost as far East as one could go.
When we reached Njala, the town where we trained 2 years past, there were vendors along the road, along with people waiting for their rides, other taxis...it was very busy stop...but in the corner of my eye I saw a little boy moving his arms. Bent at the elbows. Going slow, then picking up speed as he moved his arms back and forth.
He was smiling at me and walking towards me as he moved his arms. The little boy was about 75 yards from me. At the time I thought it was odd what he was doing, but I did not make any connection. Before the boy reached the taxi the driver returned and we drove off. I watched as the boy continued moving his arms until the dust obscured him from my view.
Only when I was an hour away from Njala junction did I remember the morning commencement and the little Engine That Could.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Good Samaritan...By Sicard In Tuileries Gardens, Paris
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/Good_Samaritan_Sicard_Tuileries.jpg
The Good Samaritan parable is found in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10, verses 25-37.
Very stalwart meeting today, 5 standers..."excellent vocal ministry today." Heard this said by member/attender today...Peggy was very impressed with CFM process, she came on a good first day. She said that she missed the music (as part of the service)...she said the members were extremely friendly to her. (I thank you all for that!)...the good Samaritan story was poignant, and stood out among the rest today for me. Although the mosquito story as it related to where a person begins and ends...stretched me...more on that later.
Shared my lane with a very pretty, red hot redhead today...she was very young, sweet to me, in great shape...say in early 20's and swam like a fish...I really felt my age...it was a party atmosphere at the pool tonight...a bunch of families were having a BBQ...pool was crowded....but there is a Penn's Hat agreement that the pool lane is to stay clear when people are swimming in it...I love that...I'm in pretty good shape now...one more week of pool and then it closes...what to do then?
Brought the painting I was working on over to Art Aspects to have it framed...and I am working on another painting that was inspired by the last painting...also learning balloon animals...working on my 8th shape tonight...hope to make some money off this new found talent...will bring some balloons to the next meeting...show the kids how to make balloon animals.
The Good Samaritan parable is found in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10, verses 25-37.
Very stalwart meeting today, 5 standers..."excellent vocal ministry today." Heard this said by member/attender today...Peggy was very impressed with CFM process, she came on a good first day. She said that she missed the music (as part of the service)...she said the members were extremely friendly to her. (I thank you all for that!)...the good Samaritan story was poignant, and stood out among the rest today for me. Although the mosquito story as it related to where a person begins and ends...stretched me...more on that later.
Shared my lane with a very pretty, red hot redhead today...she was very young, sweet to me, in great shape...say in early 20's and swam like a fish...I really felt my age...it was a party atmosphere at the pool tonight...a bunch of families were having a BBQ...pool was crowded....but there is a Penn's Hat agreement that the pool lane is to stay clear when people are swimming in it...I love that...I'm in pretty good shape now...one more week of pool and then it closes...what to do then?
Brought the painting I was working on over to Art Aspects to have it framed...and I am working on another painting that was inspired by the last painting...also learning balloon animals...working on my 8th shape tonight...hope to make some money off this new found talent...will bring some balloons to the next meeting...show the kids how to make balloon animals.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Secret Ingredient And Penn's Hat
"There's a statue of William Penn atop the City Hall building of Philadelphia, built by Alexander Milne Calder. At one time, there was a gentlemen's agreement that no new building would be built higher than Penn's (Hat) statue."
Today I read 3 letters William Penn wrote on Sept 7th 1670 while imprisoned. They were to his father. And I was moved that in each letter, Penn was more worried about his father than his own imprisonment. The tone of each of these letters was positive, hopeful and Penn always closed with a pitch to his father not to worry, not to send money, and that it would work out for the best, and that he loved him deeply.
http://www.ushistory.org/penn/pennletter.htm
When I lived in Philadelphia, and was any where near City Hall, I'd always look up at Penn's statue. That was when the gentleman's agreement was in play: no building taller than Penn's Hat. And I remember always being struck with amazement about the idea of "gentleman's agreement." Giving your word. The only thing that a person really has that is theirs to give.
D... and I made balloon animals and shapes today. Dog, sword and flower are his. He became very good at making them. We watched "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" and 2 Sponge Bob episodes while making the balloon shapes. (The balloon shapes were piling up...Over two hours...the living room looked like a balloon animal graveyard)...I mention this because Hitchhikers Guide is a very odd movie...almost like Firesign Theater if you know what I mean...anyway...remember,
I'm half watching TV and half balloon making and helping D..., so I'm not catching every plot twist, not that the plots of either show were that hard to grasp...anyway in a Sponge Bob episode...Sponge Bob rescues Mr. Crabs when he needed a way to feed his daughter, who has a big appetite...BTW she's a whale, even though Mr. Crabs gruffly protests one patty would not be enough...Sponge Bob insists, also letting Mr. Crabs know that in it, there is a secret ingredient that would surely satisfy her hunger...
When Mr. Crabs asks what that ingredient is, Sponge Bob, tells him with his usual sincere but calm indignation, "love, Mr. Crabs, love."
Today I read 3 letters William Penn wrote on Sept 7th 1670 while imprisoned. They were to his father. And I was moved that in each letter, Penn was more worried about his father than his own imprisonment. The tone of each of these letters was positive, hopeful and Penn always closed with a pitch to his father not to worry, not to send money, and that it would work out for the best, and that he loved him deeply.
http://www.ushistory.org/penn/pennletter.htm
When I lived in Philadelphia, and was any where near City Hall, I'd always look up at Penn's statue. That was when the gentleman's agreement was in play: no building taller than Penn's Hat. And I remember always being struck with amazement about the idea of "gentleman's agreement." Giving your word. The only thing that a person really has that is theirs to give.
D... and I made balloon animals and shapes today. Dog, sword and flower are his. He became very good at making them. We watched "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" and 2 Sponge Bob episodes while making the balloon shapes. (The balloon shapes were piling up...Over two hours...the living room looked like a balloon animal graveyard)...I mention this because Hitchhikers Guide is a very odd movie...almost like Firesign Theater if you know what I mean...anyway...remember,
I'm half watching TV and half balloon making and helping D..., so I'm not catching every plot twist, not that the plots of either show were that hard to grasp...anyway in a Sponge Bob episode...Sponge Bob rescues Mr. Crabs when he needed a way to feed his daughter, who has a big appetite...BTW she's a whale, even though Mr. Crabs gruffly protests one patty would not be enough...Sponge Bob insists, also letting Mr. Crabs know that in it, there is a secret ingredient that would surely satisfy her hunger...
When Mr. Crabs asks what that ingredient is, Sponge Bob, tells him with his usual sincere but calm indignation, "love, Mr. Crabs, love."
Friday, August 28, 2009
Still And Cool
Be still and cool in thy own mind and spirit.
George Fox (1624 - 1691)
I swam a 20 second lap yesterday. The last lap. G...timed me. I was the only one in the pool. 3 guards watched as I did my laps. Finished the set in 30 minutes...that's 32 laps. Just a few more days left for the Foxcroft season, Sept 7th last day. I wonder if I will join a pool somewhere to do laps. I'm swimming relaxed. Concentrating on releasing all tension from my body as I swim. Conscious of all my moving muscles, and the form I'm using.
The past few weeks have been stressed filled. Of my own doing. But I've decided to look on the bright side and look for 5 things to be grateful for daily...it is such a roller coaster ride these days. It has not always been like this, but it feels like it has. I'm concentrating on my diet again. I want to eat less than 20% fat in my diet. And less meat.
I've found a job that may be a good thing. I will tell you more about it later, when it gets going. Right now my mind jury is still deliberating...but it entails a lot of learning. Vivian was right, I am embarking on a very new course...and it will be gradual and I will be asked to learn new skills.
The new day has begun, be still and cool, standing in the light.
George Fox (1624 - 1691)
I swam a 20 second lap yesterday. The last lap. G...timed me. I was the only one in the pool. 3 guards watched as I did my laps. Finished the set in 30 minutes...that's 32 laps. Just a few more days left for the Foxcroft season, Sept 7th last day. I wonder if I will join a pool somewhere to do laps. I'm swimming relaxed. Concentrating on releasing all tension from my body as I swim. Conscious of all my moving muscles, and the form I'm using.
The past few weeks have been stressed filled. Of my own doing. But I've decided to look on the bright side and look for 5 things to be grateful for daily...it is such a roller coaster ride these days. It has not always been like this, but it feels like it has. I'm concentrating on my diet again. I want to eat less than 20% fat in my diet. And less meat.
I've found a job that may be a good thing. I will tell you more about it later, when it gets going. Right now my mind jury is still deliberating...but it entails a lot of learning. Vivian was right, I am embarking on a very new course...and it will be gradual and I will be asked to learn new skills.
The new day has begun, be still and cool, standing in the light.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Dialing for Salvation
There is a hope that I will be saved. Grasping for anything it seems that may help me get out of this funk. I'm aware there is no silver bullet. Even though in a meditation, I cognated 5 numbers, I will not win the lottery. I struggle with confusion and cynicism daily. I get high on an idea that ends in disappointment.
And I'm aware of the labels on both ends of my situation pole:
1. Chaos is the incubator for creativity
2. Fear begs caution and caution begets rigidity
If you want to take a very good assessment to find out your level of resiliency go to the site below: The purpose of the Leadership Resilience Profile® (LRP) is to provide you with an individualized profile of your resilience strengths. It will take less than 30 minutes to complete. After you respond to the items and click submit, you will receive a profile of your resilience strength score in twelve categories. It is free.
http://www.ed.uab.edu/tri/lrp.asp
And I'm aware of the labels on both ends of my situation pole:
1. Chaos is the incubator for creativity
2. Fear begs caution and caution begets rigidity
If you want to take a very good assessment to find out your level of resiliency go to the site below: The purpose of the Leadership Resilience Profile® (LRP) is to provide you with an individualized profile of your resilience strengths. It will take less than 30 minutes to complete. After you respond to the items and click submit, you will receive a profile of your resilience strength score in twelve categories. It is free.
http://www.ed.uab.edu/tri/lrp.asp
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Creative Tension...Explained
"When one holds a vision that stretches the mind and convention, when one dreams of realities that may seem like pure folly to the popular consensus, when one strives to reveal a truth that hasn't been seen by the masses, one becomes accustomed to being different. One also becomes accustomed to living a life with a certain amount of tension - tension between what is envisioned and what currently exists. Robert Fritz, author of The Path of Least Resistance, has described this differential as "structural tension." Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline, referenced Fritz's model, making it more widely known as "creative tension."
Those who can live in this tension and hold their vision for what they see as achievable not only become accustomed to being different but they also become accustomed to this tension. Senge once told me he thought personal mastery was achieved when people could hold this tension without seeking relief from it. Most people tend to succumb to the desire to reconcile this tension and get more comfortable. They relieve it by either lowering their vision and their expectancy for their desired future or by overstating the present reality, making it seem better than it is. Often worse; they give up on their vision but start acting as if they still embody it. This often leads to them martyring themselves – taking consolations in the image they think they are projecting rather than making the kind of difference they claim they want."
John Renesch
Getting The Better Future
From:
http://globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/johnrenesch/2009/08/riding-the-edge-living-with-creative-tension.html
Those who can live in this tension and hold their vision for what they see as achievable not only become accustomed to being different but they also become accustomed to this tension. Senge once told me he thought personal mastery was achieved when people could hold this tension without seeking relief from it. Most people tend to succumb to the desire to reconcile this tension and get more comfortable. They relieve it by either lowering their vision and their expectancy for their desired future or by overstating the present reality, making it seem better than it is. Often worse; they give up on their vision but start acting as if they still embody it. This often leads to them martyring themselves – taking consolations in the image they think they are projecting rather than making the kind of difference they claim they want."
John Renesch
Getting The Better Future
From:
http://globaldialoguecenter.blogs.com/johnrenesch/2009/08/riding-the-edge-living-with-creative-tension.html
We Don't Need No Stinking Committee
If what you're doing doesn't feel uncomfortable, then you're probably not doing anything new." Erik Simanis,Co-Director, Base of the Pyramid Protocol
Can my involvement with Quakerism tell me something significant (NEW) about the way things are? At least at CFM, where Jesus Christ seems very peripheral, and other than an openness for non-theism...there is no stated central theological/non-theological theme it aspires to, the part of Quakerism I like, no creed, and of course a desire for personal transformation...the so called spiritual journey.
But it did feel uncomfortable in silent meeting today at a really deep level. I drifted from irritation to peace and back again more than a few times. Lots of foot traffic and baby chatter. But the time did slip away.
Who owns that bleeping beeping watch?
Today, even though no one stood in silence, one after-thought was particularly resonating. It was stated in the form of a query. Essentially she wanted more spiritual connection. And she answered her own query, by suggested a theme for a friendly eights group. Non violent communication.
I spoke to her afterward to learn more about her idea. It sounded even more interesting. At the end of the conversation I asked her to keep me informed, that I was interested.
From the conversation I learned how unconnected I was to the meeting. It still feels like I'm wandering around in a familiar train station. Lots of people wandering, lots of activity, some acknowledgment that we exist, some eye contact, some social chatter, but no significant connection. I got that she felt the same way.
She suggested that I get involved in a committee. I've heard that before. and I'm not ready for that. Is there no other way to connect at CFM besides a committee?
Yes, friendly eights...will try that. Heck I'm in one already! I'll do another one...one that meets weekly would be great.
I came prepared to cut honeysuckle, but no one seemed motivated, so I left and when I got home, immediately grabbed the wheel barrow and finished cleaning out all but 3 squash plants and a row of tomatoes.
Can my involvement with Quakerism tell me something significant (NEW) about the way things are? At least at CFM, where Jesus Christ seems very peripheral, and other than an openness for non-theism...there is no stated central theological/non-theological theme it aspires to, the part of Quakerism I like, no creed, and of course a desire for personal transformation...the so called spiritual journey.
But it did feel uncomfortable in silent meeting today at a really deep level. I drifted from irritation to peace and back again more than a few times. Lots of foot traffic and baby chatter. But the time did slip away.
Who owns that bleeping beeping watch?
Today, even though no one stood in silence, one after-thought was particularly resonating. It was stated in the form of a query. Essentially she wanted more spiritual connection. And she answered her own query, by suggested a theme for a friendly eights group. Non violent communication.
I spoke to her afterward to learn more about her idea. It sounded even more interesting. At the end of the conversation I asked her to keep me informed, that I was interested.
From the conversation I learned how unconnected I was to the meeting. It still feels like I'm wandering around in a familiar train station. Lots of people wandering, lots of activity, some acknowledgment that we exist, some eye contact, some social chatter, but no significant connection. I got that she felt the same way.
She suggested that I get involved in a committee. I've heard that before. and I'm not ready for that. Is there no other way to connect at CFM besides a committee?
Yes, friendly eights...will try that. Heck I'm in one already! I'll do another one...one that meets weekly would be great.
I came prepared to cut honeysuckle, but no one seemed motivated, so I left and when I got home, immediately grabbed the wheel barrow and finished cleaning out all but 3 squash plants and a row of tomatoes.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Faces, Mothers And Ruins
I've been gradually going to a vegetarian diet. Kicking and spitting. Found a great source of protein too. Shelled hemp seeds. 11% protein in 2 tablespoons. And not that much oil either, and what there is, it's omega 3 oil. Also it provides all the amino acids.
Lost 3 pounds so far, but that is not why I'm doing it. According to the book I'm reading a meat diet creates toxins etc that slow a person down, depletes your energy etc. Not seen that extra energy yet. and it is suppose to reverse heart disease issues. And I'm hoping it will do my thyroid some good. I have to watch out for vegetables that are not good for the thyroid...which I didn't know about.
Cleaned out the garden today and will carry away the debris tomorrow. There is one zuchini plant that refuses to call it quits and I want to support it as long as I can...plenty of flowers on it and a few zuchs still growing...good for her...it.
Honeysuckle vines remind me of the deep South...and a Hawthorne quote...Romance and poetry, ivy, lichens, and wallflowers, need ruin to make them grow.
Lost 3 pounds so far, but that is not why I'm doing it. According to the book I'm reading a meat diet creates toxins etc that slow a person down, depletes your energy etc. Not seen that extra energy yet. and it is suppose to reverse heart disease issues. And I'm hoping it will do my thyroid some good. I have to watch out for vegetables that are not good for the thyroid...which I didn't know about.
Cleaned out the garden today and will carry away the debris tomorrow. There is one zuchini plant that refuses to call it quits and I want to support it as long as I can...plenty of flowers on it and a few zuchs still growing...good for her...it.
Honeysuckle vines remind me of the deep South...and a Hawthorne quote...Romance and poetry, ivy, lichens, and wallflowers, need ruin to make them grow.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Single Occupancy Unit License: S.O.U.L.
"By turning inward in contemplative silence, these dedicated seekers encountered what they called “the Light” of Christ — the actual presence of the spiritual force that nourishes the created world. They believed that this Inner Light is universally present within all human souls, that “the sacred is always within us as potentiality, waiting to be addressed, answered, called into fuller being” (Lacey, 1998, p. 3). Fox claimed that this Light represented no less than “that of God in everyone.”
From: http://www.pathsoflearning.org/articles_Quaker.php
So maybe this "God in everyone" can be found embedded in the S.O.U.L. One soul, one body...This is the license we get when we're born. Everyone has one. It animates our bodies, gives us light...is it the same as spirit? It encourages us to make ourselves and the world better...
I read that in Chinese medicine the spleen is where the soul lives. And the emotions also reside there as well.
According to this article (see link below): Funerary Monument Reveals Iron Age Belief That The Soul Lived In The Stone
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081118071136.htm
the real quesiton is
Where does the soul go after we die? The question is really about what happens after we die. Does the body separate from the S.O.U.L...when this license expires does the generator for the neurological/biological electrochemical energy that supports/animates the life force in the body...does the S.O.U.L. blink out of existence?
The soul...an unknown or another great invention/invitation of/for (wo)mankind...
From: http://www.pathsoflearning.org/articles_Quaker.php
So maybe this "God in everyone" can be found embedded in the S.O.U.L. One soul, one body...This is the license we get when we're born. Everyone has one. It animates our bodies, gives us light...is it the same as spirit? It encourages us to make ourselves and the world better...
I read that in Chinese medicine the spleen is where the soul lives. And the emotions also reside there as well.
According to this article (see link below): Funerary Monument Reveals Iron Age Belief That The Soul Lived In The Stone
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081118071136.htm
the real quesiton is
Where does the soul go after we die? The question is really about what happens after we die. Does the body separate from the S.O.U.L...when this license expires does the generator for the neurological/biological electrochemical energy that supports/animates the life force in the body...does the S.O.U.L. blink out of existence?
The soul...an unknown or another great invention/invitation of/for (wo)mankind...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Figura Serpentinata
Go to this link to read more than you care to know about Greco's painting and the alleged bible story incident...It is an absurd painting...but was taken so very seriously by Earlier Catholics...it seems it gave them license to create reform and to clean house, thier own house.
http://www.artsconnected.org/resource/2784/christ-driving-the-money-changers-from-the-temple/tab/comments
Excerpt:
THE BIBLICAL ACCOUNT
Christ Driving the Money Changers from the Temple is based on an incident narrated in all four gospels of the New Testament: Matthew 21:12-15; Mark 11:15-17; Luke 19:45; John 2:13-16. According to the account by St. John, Jesus entered Jerusalem on a Sunday and the next day went to the Temple. "In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money-changers at their business. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all, with the sheep and oxen, out of the temple; and he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the doves, 'Take these things away; you shall not make my Father's house a house of trade.'" This is an unusual episode, for it is the only time in his recorded lifetime that Christ resorted to physical punishment.
Notes:
Strong Art Talk meeting with B and M and N on Monday night. I'm very impressed with the level of discussion from M and B. Progress is expected.
Faux Conference on Tuesday was on Non-Theism and Quakers. It almost was interesting. Wikipedia has a good bit "more better" info. But the event gave me a chance to talk about storylessness for the first time, and how it relates to the silent meeting process for me.
And John Haught has written a book to refute the works discussed last night:
God and the New Atheism: A Critical Response to Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens, December 2007, Westminster John Knox Press, ISBN 978-0664233044
http://www.artsconnected.org/resource/2784/christ-driving-the-money-changers-from-the-temple/tab/comments
Excerpt:
THE BIBLICAL ACCOUNT
Christ Driving the Money Changers from the Temple is based on an incident narrated in all four gospels of the New Testament: Matthew 21:12-15; Mark 11:15-17; Luke 19:45; John 2:13-16. According to the account by St. John, Jesus entered Jerusalem on a Sunday and the next day went to the Temple. "In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money-changers at their business. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all, with the sheep and oxen, out of the temple; and he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the doves, 'Take these things away; you shall not make my Father's house a house of trade.'" This is an unusual episode, for it is the only time in his recorded lifetime that Christ resorted to physical punishment.
Notes:
Strong Art Talk meeting with B and M and N on Monday night. I'm very impressed with the level of discussion from M and B. Progress is expected.
Faux Conference on Tuesday was on Non-Theism and Quakers. It almost was interesting. Wikipedia has a good bit "more better" info. But the event gave me a chance to talk about storylessness for the first time, and how it relates to the silent meeting process for me.
And John Haught has written a book to refute the works discussed last night:
God and the New Atheism: A Critical Response to Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens, December 2007, Westminster John Knox Press, ISBN 978-0664233044
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Clearing the Garden
Before meeting Today I cleared non-producing plants from the garden. It was refreshing to do. I thanked them for what they produced. I pulled up the cantaloupe and watermelon plants too...they wouldn't have enough time to develop fully. I brought 2 huge bundles of basil into meeting this morning.
I've pull up some plants, and will close the garden down before the first of September. I'm waiting b/c the tomatoes are still producing, hopefully 2 more weeks is enough time for them to ripen. 8 squash plants are still producing too. Replanted/potted one pepper plant for D...he is attached to the pepper plant.
I've pull up some plants, and will close the garden down before the first of September. I'm waiting b/c the tomatoes are still producing, hopefully 2 more weeks is enough time for them to ripen. 8 squash plants are still producing too. Replanted/potted one pepper plant for D...he is attached to the pepper plant.
Bleeding From The Ears
I wanted to hear as many sounds at one time as I could today in meeting. I counted 7. (I like what Jim Flory says about listening in meeting. See below.)
Counting sounds almost brings that kind of auditory clarity into play for me. However, trying to listen for extended periods of time takes allot of focus.
Vigilant listening. My dog certainly has the power. In fact one of my favorite things is to listen with her when I see that she has a bead on a sound. It is either the mailman or the UPS truck. It is fun to listen with her. My hearing becomes more acute. A bonding moment.
The process that CFM uses called, "after thoughts" has me very concerned. After silent meeting, CFM invites members to say what was unsaid in silence, adding on top of what was already said via "divine leading"...are after thoughts not what early Quakers called "out running our measure of truth?" Yes, for me it sometimes waters down rather than enhances what was said in silent meeting. Especially very true today.
Someone has said that what we are aiming for in meeting for worship is a powerful energetic vigilant total listening. Listening, like that which we experience after being awakened in the night, for a potentially threatening sound to repeat itself so that we can identify it.
High energy may be generated in vigilant listening, especially if we take seriously the possibility of receiving a Divine leading to speak. A good deal of energy can be generated in the process of discernment (is this an insight just for me, an ego prompting, or true leading); the danger of not speaking when we are called (called quenching by early Quakers); and the danger saying more than we are called to say (called out running our measure of truth by earlier Quakers).
Jim Flory
http://www.jflory.org/
Counting sounds almost brings that kind of auditory clarity into play for me. However, trying to listen for extended periods of time takes allot of focus.
Vigilant listening. My dog certainly has the power. In fact one of my favorite things is to listen with her when I see that she has a bead on a sound. It is either the mailman or the UPS truck. It is fun to listen with her. My hearing becomes more acute. A bonding moment.
The process that CFM uses called, "after thoughts" has me very concerned. After silent meeting, CFM invites members to say what was unsaid in silence, adding on top of what was already said via "divine leading"...are after thoughts not what early Quakers called "out running our measure of truth?" Yes, for me it sometimes waters down rather than enhances what was said in silent meeting. Especially very true today.
Someone has said that what we are aiming for in meeting for worship is a powerful energetic vigilant total listening. Listening, like that which we experience after being awakened in the night, for a potentially threatening sound to repeat itself so that we can identify it.
High energy may be generated in vigilant listening, especially if we take seriously the possibility of receiving a Divine leading to speak. A good deal of energy can be generated in the process of discernment (is this an insight just for me, an ego prompting, or true leading); the danger of not speaking when we are called (called quenching by early Quakers); and the danger saying more than we are called to say (called out running our measure of truth by earlier Quakers).
Jim Flory
http://www.jflory.org/
Friday, August 14, 2009
Flying Lessons
There is a half brick wall in the patio area at my old Condo in South Park. It separates the open patio space from the outside...it is about 4 feet high and about 15 feet long and eight inches wide. Beyond the wall is the reason I bought the condo in the first place. It's amazingly wooded...lots of trees...big ones...While I was working on the patio...I was installing a 15x18 Ipe deck on top of the patio cement, I started the project soon after I bought the condo in February 2003, and my son was helping me, he just turned 6 at the time. He was and still is very curious but cautious.
And walls are made to climb. He wanted help in climbing the wall. I was working, cutting boards etc, I was watching him like a hawk, but I was busy and focused on the decking. But I remember the guidance given to me by his mother, she said if he can't climb it on his own don't help him. So I didn't.
He struggled, trying to pull himself up a 4 foot wall. He was about 4 feet tall then too. But his muscle strength in his arms were not completely up to the challenge.
Then he threw one leg up onto the wall, pulling up while holding onto the wall with both hands. Struggling now he was laying flat face down on his belly on the top part of the wall that was 8 inches wide. He was excited, triumphant, and not knowing what to do next. His legs where dangling off the sides, but he managed to balance himself. "I did it" he said repeatedly. And I said what are you going to do next?
He pushed his hands/arms to raise his upper body, struggling/balancing all the while scooting his butt a few times, to situate it so his butt was somewhat flat, turning his hips, bringing his legs around and his butt fell into place and he sat on the wall, I remember he gave a very deep and satisfying sigh of relief. A very deep sigh.
He sat on the wall for a while. He watched while I worked. And I said to him after he had collected himself, caught his breath, what now?
He said I'm fine. Deep sigh and a smile. He was still Basking in his glory of climbing the wall. I praised him. Told him how proud I was of him doing it on his own and doing it safely too. And I told him how strong his muscles are for his age. And then we talked about the importance of balance. That was his issue at the time. Maintaining balance.
Out of fear of him falling I helped him from there on up...he used my arm to steady himself as he hoisted himself up, good thing, he was very wobbly...he pushed up, extending his legs, making his torso erect, he was standing. Wobbly weak knees and all. He found his balance and I let him go...he was finding his center, swaying a little, but none the less standing by himself. He stood on the wall for about 2 minutes.
The picture I keep over my work station is a picture of this very moment...I love him in this picture...it tells the story...he has a satisfied, proud but cautious look on his face. My son standing on his own 2 feet, 4 foot off the ground, with tall trees I love in the background.
I stood in front of him and I asked him to fall into my arms. I caught him easily as he fell. He said that was awesome. We continued working on the decking.
And walls are made to climb. He wanted help in climbing the wall. I was working, cutting boards etc, I was watching him like a hawk, but I was busy and focused on the decking. But I remember the guidance given to me by his mother, she said if he can't climb it on his own don't help him. So I didn't.
He struggled, trying to pull himself up a 4 foot wall. He was about 4 feet tall then too. But his muscle strength in his arms were not completely up to the challenge.
Then he threw one leg up onto the wall, pulling up while holding onto the wall with both hands. Struggling now he was laying flat face down on his belly on the top part of the wall that was 8 inches wide. He was excited, triumphant, and not knowing what to do next. His legs where dangling off the sides, but he managed to balance himself. "I did it" he said repeatedly. And I said what are you going to do next?
He pushed his hands/arms to raise his upper body, struggling/balancing all the while scooting his butt a few times, to situate it so his butt was somewhat flat, turning his hips, bringing his legs around and his butt fell into place and he sat on the wall, I remember he gave a very deep and satisfying sigh of relief. A very deep sigh.
He sat on the wall for a while. He watched while I worked. And I said to him after he had collected himself, caught his breath, what now?
He said I'm fine. Deep sigh and a smile. He was still Basking in his glory of climbing the wall. I praised him. Told him how proud I was of him doing it on his own and doing it safely too. And I told him how strong his muscles are for his age. And then we talked about the importance of balance. That was his issue at the time. Maintaining balance.
Out of fear of him falling I helped him from there on up...he used my arm to steady himself as he hoisted himself up, good thing, he was very wobbly...he pushed up, extending his legs, making his torso erect, he was standing. Wobbly weak knees and all. He found his balance and I let him go...he was finding his center, swaying a little, but none the less standing by himself. He stood on the wall for about 2 minutes.
The picture I keep over my work station is a picture of this very moment...I love him in this picture...it tells the story...he has a satisfied, proud but cautious look on his face. My son standing on his own 2 feet, 4 foot off the ground, with tall trees I love in the background.
I stood in front of him and I asked him to fall into my arms. I caught him easily as he fell. He said that was awesome. We continued working on the decking.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
When Facts Don't Add Up
While swimming my laps effortlessly today, a previous post's topic, thermostat/thermometer word pair bounced around in my head like twin ping pong balls...if you remember, in the interview the other day, the interviewer tried to make a strong argument about enterprising behavior...being like a "thermostat" is far better than being a thermometer. I knew from being with him for 3+ hours that he wasn't trying to start a conversation, and didn't want to hear my opinion either...he was sounding superior. One T was better than the other T was his drift. I got it.
The facts don't add up was my first thought. It wasn't like dispelling "death panels"...that was easy...especially coming from SP...
then I remembered LSI...It is a process...see David Kolb's research below...we come from one of these 4 distinct learning styles...one is not better than the other...one is probably more appropriate than the other as it relates to a particular task...and for full integration to take place, a learner must go through all the stages on the wheel.
So yes, we are both thermostat and thermometer. Some of us prefer being a thermostat first...
http://www.businessballs.com/kolblearningstyles.htm
The facts don't add up was my first thought. It wasn't like dispelling "death panels"...that was easy...especially coming from SP...
then I remembered LSI...It is a process...see David Kolb's research below...we come from one of these 4 distinct learning styles...one is not better than the other...one is probably more appropriate than the other as it relates to a particular task...and for full integration to take place, a learner must go through all the stages on the wheel.
So yes, we are both thermostat and thermometer. Some of us prefer being a thermostat first...
http://www.businessballs.com/kolblearningstyles.htm
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Intestinal Alchemy
In a 3.5 hour interview yesterday I was asked if I was a thermometer or a thermostat.
I paused, I had to think what the differences were...A thermometer measures fluctuating temperatures and a thermostat establishes and maintains a desired temperature. A barrage of opposite word pairs came into my consciousness: control, ego, affected, infected, passive, aggressive, transformer, transformed, leader, follower, new, old...
The interviewer saw that I was taking my time, but about to speak, I guess it was too long of a pause for him and it was probably a rhetorical question anyway, b/c the interviewer told me what the differences were. He said, "That the person being affected by someone else's ideas/thoughts is like a thermometer. While the other person, impacts others with their ideas, is like a thermostat."
I didn't say much then, he let me know that questions are interruptions...but after thinking about it....I'm betting most people do both metaphorical roles.
But do I do them equally well? Measure and establish are the operative verbs. Am I aware when am I doing one and not the other?
Do I act in a leadership role by spontaneously doing the right thing?
It is very important for me to know when I am influencing or being influenced. I know I resist being influenced but love to influence others, give out information, new ideas. How do others respond to this?
Thermostats control/change environments...environments change people/people change hearts? Do thermometers only measure ideas of popular opinion? Which is easier to do? Which is more important?
What is the intestinal alchemy that changes a thermometer into a thermostat?
If I'm full of ideas without action, I'm a thermometer. But if I'm full of good and useful ideas and take action to bring them into fruition I'm a thermostat.
If I've been hurt, and forgive with expanded unconditional love, I'm a thermostat.
I paused, I had to think what the differences were...A thermometer measures fluctuating temperatures and a thermostat establishes and maintains a desired temperature. A barrage of opposite word pairs came into my consciousness: control, ego, affected, infected, passive, aggressive, transformer, transformed, leader, follower, new, old...
The interviewer saw that I was taking my time, but about to speak, I guess it was too long of a pause for him and it was probably a rhetorical question anyway, b/c the interviewer told me what the differences were. He said, "That the person being affected by someone else's ideas/thoughts is like a thermometer. While the other person, impacts others with their ideas, is like a thermostat."
I didn't say much then, he let me know that questions are interruptions...but after thinking about it....I'm betting most people do both metaphorical roles.
But do I do them equally well? Measure and establish are the operative verbs. Am I aware when am I doing one and not the other?
Do I act in a leadership role by spontaneously doing the right thing?
It is very important for me to know when I am influencing or being influenced. I know I resist being influenced but love to influence others, give out information, new ideas. How do others respond to this?
Thermostats control/change environments...environments change people/people change hearts? Do thermometers only measure ideas of popular opinion? Which is easier to do? Which is more important?
What is the intestinal alchemy that changes a thermometer into a thermostat?
If I'm full of ideas without action, I'm a thermometer. But if I'm full of good and useful ideas and take action to bring them into fruition I'm a thermostat.
If I've been hurt, and forgive with expanded unconditional love, I'm a thermostat.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Hottest Day Of The Year
Today is suppose to be the hottest day of year. This fact motivated me to get up early and take advantage of the low morning temps. Washed clothes, vacuumed rugs, washed dishes...cut grass...D...is at the beach this week...I feel a sense of relief when he is at the beach...a clean house is good...less distractions.
Thought about doubt this morning too...got me to thinking about absolutes while cleaning. Speed of sound...Water is the most abundant molecule on Earth's surface...Different definition...Is God only in the absolute? What about finite beings like me?
Wikipedia's definition of absolute...The Absolute is the concept of an unconditional reality which transcends limited, conditional, everyday existence.
Meditation?
Soul? So I am part of the absolute?...if I believe I have a soul?
From Wikipedia..."The general commonalities between the various versions of the Absolute are: infinity, indescribablity, formlessness, transcendence and immanence. An additional commonality is that one must renounce and/or transcend physical existence and its distractions, in some cases even to the point of extinguishing identity and individual awareness, in order to understand or co-exist with the Absolute. Uniformly, human passions and vices are regarded as barriers to spiritual advancement, and such virtues as humility, charity and righteousness or pacifism are felt to help pave the way to enlightenment."
Thought about doubt this morning too...got me to thinking about absolutes while cleaning. Speed of sound...Water is the most abundant molecule on Earth's surface...Different definition...Is God only in the absolute? What about finite beings like me?
Wikipedia's definition of absolute...The Absolute is the concept of an unconditional reality which transcends limited, conditional, everyday existence.
Meditation?
Soul? So I am part of the absolute?...if I believe I have a soul?
From Wikipedia..."The general commonalities between the various versions of the Absolute are: infinity, indescribablity, formlessness, transcendence and immanence. An additional commonality is that one must renounce and/or transcend physical existence and its distractions, in some cases even to the point of extinguishing identity and individual awareness, in order to understand or co-exist with the Absolute. Uniformly, human passions and vices are regarded as barriers to spiritual advancement, and such virtues as humility, charity and righteousness or pacifism are felt to help pave the way to enlightenment."
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Doubt Is An Element of Faith
After a stop at Hardy's...I was first to arrive at Meeting...coffee in hand. I lifted/moved the metal gate for all to get in. Promptly drew the heart & Hands shapes in 4 corners of the front concrete square. And also put one at the path entrance. Greeting was fun. I decided to walk out and meet the members as they got about 10-20 feet from the door. I followed my 5 steps as well as the other steps provided to me by one of the early arriving members. In forum we discussed religious doubt. It was a great idea to break up into smaller groups BTW...
Some researched after-thoughts on doubt...
In a 2004 article, Neal Krause and Keith M. Wulff comment:
"...that some theologians and investigators believe ... that having doubts about religion lies at the very heart of living a religious life, and that it is not possible to be deeply religious without having doubts about one's faith. This perspective is captured in the work of Paul Tillich, who was a well-known Protestant theologian. Tillich ... argued that, "... doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith." Similar views are expressed in the classic work of Allport ... who maintained that, "... the mature religious sentiment is ordinarily fashioned in the workshop of doubt." Finally, and perhaps most important, Batson, Schoenrade and Ventis' (1993) work on religious quest is based, in part, on the notion that doubt is beneficial and ultimately leads to a deeper and more meaningful faith."
Neal Krause, Keith M. Wulff, "Religious doubt and health: exploring the potential dark side of religion," Sociology of Religion, 2004-Spring.
This all sounds, well, healthy and easy to accept...but go to this article if you want to read about the dark side of doubt:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/reldoubt0.htm
"The belief of some Christians that non-Christians need to be converted to Christianity in order to be "saved" may be regarded as an affront to the religious freedom of those who follow other faiths or identify as atheists. Because of this prevalent belief among Christians, Christianity has been said to be inherently counter to religious freedom, and many Christians have denounced this proselytizing aspect of their faith."
In Greece it is prohibited by Greek law to proselytize.
Does being christian work as a verb or a noun?
Some researched after-thoughts on doubt...
In a 2004 article, Neal Krause and Keith M. Wulff comment:
"...that some theologians and investigators believe ... that having doubts about religion lies at the very heart of living a religious life, and that it is not possible to be deeply religious without having doubts about one's faith. This perspective is captured in the work of Paul Tillich, who was a well-known Protestant theologian. Tillich ... argued that, "... doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith." Similar views are expressed in the classic work of Allport ... who maintained that, "... the mature religious sentiment is ordinarily fashioned in the workshop of doubt." Finally, and perhaps most important, Batson, Schoenrade and Ventis' (1993) work on religious quest is based, in part, on the notion that doubt is beneficial and ultimately leads to a deeper and more meaningful faith."
Neal Krause, Keith M. Wulff, "Religious doubt and health: exploring the potential dark side of religion," Sociology of Religion, 2004-Spring.
This all sounds, well, healthy and easy to accept...but go to this article if you want to read about the dark side of doubt:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/reldoubt0.htm
"The belief of some Christians that non-Christians need to be converted to Christianity in order to be "saved" may be regarded as an affront to the religious freedom of those who follow other faiths or identify as atheists. Because of this prevalent belief among Christians, Christianity has been said to be inherently counter to religious freedom, and many Christians have denounced this proselytizing aspect of their faith."
In Greece it is prohibited by Greek law to proselytize.
Does being christian work as a verb or a noun?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Note To Myself
I'll be one of the greeters at Meeting tomorrow. I've come up with 5 points to help do a great job:
Create a special environment/space/entrance. People respond to being treated special. Doing things, even doing simple things for others creates "specialness" and a sense of appreciation for the event.
Be consciously "here." ...here in the NOW with all my physical, mental and emotional energy that is mine to give to Friends and visitors...with great eye contact and empathy...letting my guard down and being open to feeling the emotional energies of others. This is a big step.
Gentleness. I've learned even men can be gentle. for me being kind means being really polite and not sarcastic. Offering a genuine compliment or noticing good things people do for me or others and ignoring the hurtful things. What can I say that will make others feel good? This is the best way for me to establish rapport...smile, give direct eye contact and by giving a genuine compliment, showing that I've noticed something and that I care. It could be as simple as an encouraging hug, or word.
Two Ears. It's about them not me. I will greet them and go slow, let them tell me about themselves. This brings closeness, I will hang on every word, my mind will be attached to both ears. I'll be a human sponge: absorb all that they say with thier words and soul. Be compassionate when telling the truth.
Be vulnerable. Let my shield down. Be my genuine self. Become reachable by others. Connect with others on a one to one basis as they enter the door. Allow all who enter to glimpse at my soul. This will take courage.
Create a special environment/space/entrance. People respond to being treated special. Doing things, even doing simple things for others creates "specialness" and a sense of appreciation for the event.
Be consciously "here." ...here in the NOW with all my physical, mental and emotional energy that is mine to give to Friends and visitors...with great eye contact and empathy...letting my guard down and being open to feeling the emotional energies of others. This is a big step.
Gentleness. I've learned even men can be gentle. for me being kind means being really polite and not sarcastic. Offering a genuine compliment or noticing good things people do for me or others and ignoring the hurtful things. What can I say that will make others feel good? This is the best way for me to establish rapport...smile, give direct eye contact and by giving a genuine compliment, showing that I've noticed something and that I care. It could be as simple as an encouraging hug, or word.
Two Ears. It's about them not me. I will greet them and go slow, let them tell me about themselves. This brings closeness, I will hang on every word, my mind will be attached to both ears. I'll be a human sponge: absorb all that they say with thier words and soul. Be compassionate when telling the truth.
Be vulnerable. Let my shield down. Be my genuine self. Become reachable by others. Connect with others on a one to one basis as they enter the door. Allow all who enter to glimpse at my soul. This will take courage.
Plutchik's Wheel Of Emotions
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emotions#Emotions_by_groups
Acceptance________Disgust
Complex emotions
pride - modesty - shame
closeness - detachment - distance
complaint/pain - doing OK - pleasure
caution - boldness - rashness - drama
patience - mere tolerance - anger
relaxation - composure - stress
The above link is well worth the look...tomorrow...I'm going to gauge the distance between acceptance and disgust and the other emotions in bold...looking for verbal and body cues of contempt and acceptance, etc.
The same people say hello to me at Meeting...and I have noticed others who avoid me...I'm going to check that out tomorrow as a greeter. Maybe the short bio about me in the newsletter will open the way. I'll smile more and floss, with breathe minty freshness...
Acceptance________Disgust
Complex emotions
pride - modesty - shame
closeness - detachment - distance
complaint/pain - doing OK - pleasure
caution - boldness - rashness - drama
patience - mere tolerance - anger
relaxation - composure - stress
The above link is well worth the look...tomorrow...I'm going to gauge the distance between acceptance and disgust and the other emotions in bold...looking for verbal and body cues of contempt and acceptance, etc.
The same people say hello to me at Meeting...and I have noticed others who avoid me...I'm going to check that out tomorrow as a greeter. Maybe the short bio about me in the newsletter will open the way. I'll smile more and floss, with breathe minty freshness...
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