"You cannot petition the Lord with prayer"

I lost my wallet the other day. If I wasn't in a hurry, it wouldn't have mattered as much. Because I usually find it. It just takes time, patience and looking under things. Usually, when I take it out of my pocket I slip it in the kitchen drawer where I keep the water bill and loose change, so I always know where it is. But when don't do that, and lose it, and I can't find it quickly I automatically start petitioning the Lord with Prayer.

I started to bargain with God this time. But this time it was very different. Having thoughts of what I'd have to do to protect myself from the Sunami of identity theft or the feelings of drowning from my own imagined fear wasn't new. This time I started to go into a deep panic, which was new. But I had another problem...You see, I have doubts that there is a God. I doubt that an all powerful being with a beard will magically help me in times of need and trouble. Like when I lose my wallet. So I was in a panic and a real pickle.

(To be continued)



“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Jim Morrison

Dung Beetle and TEN InTENtions For 20TEN

Many images roll through my head while I sit in meeting. One of them today was that of a dung beetle rolling his dinner along the road. I experienced one when I was living in Africa. The ball of dung it was rolling was at least 5 inches in diameter, much bigger than it was. It would almost climb up on top of the it and push the dung ball with its front legs then scurrying along to catch it to push it again. Meandering down the path, so it seems, following the path of least resistance. It was very focused. Listening to his/her programmed directive.

But most of the time today I was having an inner conversation about intentions. And how intentions relate to responsibility. I've started a list of the top ten intentions for 2010 for myself. It is to engage with as many new attenders for 3 minutes each Sunday.